Birth Plan: the dream, the reality, and everything in between

(Post originally from Two Tiny Feet, One Big Heart)   I realize now the impact of birth and your birth story. It’s been almost a year and I still have not written the post I planned on writing about Birth Plans and Labor. I think in a way, it’s just been more comfortable to not go back and think about it again. After I finally felt like it was done and dealt with, going back to thinking about it and writing about it, was more than I wanted to handle. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not traumatized, nor do I regret anything. And above all, the most important thing, was a healthy baby and healthy mommy, which fortunately we were blessed with. However, being in labor, having a baby, and becoming a mother is one of the most powerful things that will ever happen in your life. And rightfully so, you have expectations about how it will happen. And the reality of what DID happen, are the memories that will stay. In between, is where the difficult emotions lie. In between are the dreams that you did not see come true. In between are the feelings of frustration, sadness, and grief. In between are thoughts, doubts, feelings of incompetence, and what ifs. In between, lies the difficult reality that is hard to accept: you can not control everything in your life; you can not do everything the way you would like for your child and for yourself, from the get-go. Like I mentioned in my last couple of posts, throughout my pregnancy I gave a lot of thought to what my...

On the decision of hiring a doula

(Post originally from Two Tiny Feet, One Big Heart) After watching several documentaries and reading about pregnancy, labor, and birth I had my heart set on attempting a natural childbirth. At first, I heard many  disapproving comments, like: “oh sure, you will change your mind once you get there“. In my search on getting ready for birth I decided I needed two things: 1. a class on Hypnobirthing, to better be prepared for labor; 2. a doula, someone who has seen many births, knows how to navigate the medical system, and who could give me the support that a nervous husband might not be able to do at that time. What is a doula? The word itself comes from the Ancient Greek and means “a woman who serves”. A doula is someone who provides a woman in labor with emotional support, comfort measures, and help carrying out her birth plan. Click here for more information. So, in my personal quest of assembling my birth plan, I started searching for doulas, even though many around me were still unsure if I was making the right decision. I have to admit so many times I also thought to myself: “what if I end up with a c-section? Won’t it be such a waste of money?” As a sidebar, some health insurances will offer reimbursement for doula services, but unfortunately that was not the case for us. So, I met my first doula, Nancy, for an informational interview. We hit it off right away, chatting for over an hour at our local Panera. At the end of the session, Nancy tells me: “you...
infant parent mental health

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